Do you aspire to be a bad boss (or know someone who does)? Do you like poor morale, high turnover, and being the target of complaints, investigations, and lawsuits, whether you deserve it or not? If so, this checklist is for you! Try to tick as many of the following boxes as possible:
Micromanage
There’s nothing an employee hates more than being told exactly what to do and how to do it, especially when it involves a matter that’s within his area of expertise. For maximum effect, make sure to second guess every decision your employee makes, whether you know what you’re talking about or not.
Steal credit
Has your employee done something marvelous? Awesome! Make sure she knows she can’t speak to anyone other than you in the management chain, so as to reduce the chance that your supervisors discover you had nothing to do with it.
Point the finger
Has your employee bungled something? Uh oh! Make sure to let your supervisors know immediately, lest they think you’re responsible. You’ll need to move especially fast if you are really the one to blame.
Play favorites
Do you like some of your employees more than others? Of course you do. So, by all means, stop by their offices, invite them out for drinks, and give them the best assignments, most coveted promotions, and highest pay raises. Don’t do this for any of the others. Bonus points if your favorites are the same race, ethnicity, gender, age, and/or religion as you.
Be unavailable
Don’t respond to emails. Never answer your own phone. Try to arrange to office on a different floor than your employees. If you must have a conversation with an employee, be as vague as possible when responding to work-related questions.
Reward your best employees – with more work
You know they’re going to get it done, even while looking for their next job. And, let’s face it, you need them to leave because their killer work ethic and mad skills are making you look bad by comparison. Plus, if you shift more work to these employees, it will free up your favorites for additional happy hours.
Rule by fear
This can be accomplished with lots of screaming and yelling but is much more effective when done indirectly, for example by subtly criticizing your employees with other members of management so they don’t find out about the lies you’ve told until months or even years later. Remember that it’s hard to reach a knife placed squarely in the back.
Kiss up and kick down
A personal favorite. If done correctly, this technique will allow you to maintain your position as a bad boss almost indefinitely. Sure, your employees will complain about your constant abuse, but if you are really nice to your own supervisors, they’ll never believe a word your minions say. They might even promote you.
Need help with a bad boss (or three)? I offer management and HR training on a variety of employment law topics, as well as one-on-one executive coaching. Send me note – I’d love to work with you and your team!